Sometimes we forget how much we matter to God…
This can’t be happening, I told myself.
Another disappointment.
Another thing that I so desperately wanted to work out,
Had gone wrong.
I wanted everything to go right,
To go my way.
But it didn’t.
I started to believe that I didn’t matter to God.
Because things were not working out.
Night came, and with it, sleep.
But this time the long-awaited sleep was disturbed.
Darkness crept into my mind,
A darkness that came with sadness and despair.
You are useless, my thoughts told me.
You are not worth anything,
And nobody cares about you.
Oh, how these thoughts worked hard to convince me,
That I didn’t matter to God.
Morning came, and with it hope that the darkness would pass.
But it didn’t.
Wild thoughts ran through my mind all day,
Reminding me of how unloved I was,
How useless I was,
And how I didn’t matter to anyone.
I hated every minute of that day,
Yet I could do nothing to dispel the gloom.
I started to truly believe that I didn’t matter to God.
Night came,
And I started to shiver at the prospect of another dark night.
Lord, I cried out, is it true?
Is it true that I don’t matter to you?
Is it true that I mean nothing to you?
Please answer me, Lord,
Before I lose hope.
Before I give up completely!
My tears flowed freely as I cried to the Lord,
The pain in my heart was unbearable.
How could I not matter to God?
Why was I feeling like this?
Had I lost sight of Him in the midst of my troubles?
Or had He walked away from me?
The despair was too much to bear.
And amid those tears,
He answered me.
He reminded me that He loves me.
He reminded me that He is there for me.
He reminded me that He walks alongside me.
He reminded me that His plans for me are perfect,
And that He will fulfill each one of them.
He reminded me that I matter to Him.
And I was relieved to know,
That I matter to God.
And that nothing will ever change that.
Isaiah 43:6a “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you…” (ESV)
Let us pray.
Lord, thank you for being so patient with us and merciful towards us. You are truly faithful. I ask that you continually remind us of your love, your grace, and your patience even when things are not working as we hope they would. Remind us that you have everything in control and that we need not be worried. Remind us, also, that you will always love us. Amen.
Amen