SINGLES – LET’S TALK ABOUT THE REALITIES OF MARRIAGE
The life of a single is so exciting and spontaneous. As one gets older, however, people begin to insist that the single person gets married, starts a family, secures a dream job, etc. As a result, singles have been bombarded with loads of untruths about marriage and relationships. Below is a quick look at a few of these myths.
1. You have to do a test drive!
What is a test drive in this case? Well, it is trying out your ‘bedroom’ skills to see if you are good at it, or if there is a need for improvement. Many singles believe that before they get married, they must have intimate relations with their intended spouse, just to see if things will work out in the bedroom. For the Christian, this should not be the case, as the body of the believer belongs to God.
1 Corinthians 6:19 “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body” (NLT)
God purchased your freedom at a very high price. Why, then, should you choose to defile yourself by doing a test drive? If you are burning with desire, ask God to help you control those feelings as you focus on the higher goal of pleasing Him.
For those who may already have gone down this road, there is room for forgiveness. Ask God to help you start afresh.
One last point – a test drive does not guarantee that your marriage will work.
2. Marriage is the ultimate goal for the single
Sadly, this is far from the truth. There is so much more to life than marriage. The unrealistic expectations that many singles carry into marriage lead to early breakups and disintegration. For example, several people believe that everyone must get married, and that marriage is a sign of God’s blessings in their lives.
Many older singles will tell you that they find peace in knowing that they are walking in the will of God. As a believer in Christ, whether single or married, you should aim to please God in everything that you do. That way, you have peace and contentment regardless of your situation.
Singles, please do not feel like you are lesser citizens because of your status. Rather, take pride in yourself, and enjoy what God has called you to do.
3. Your partner will meet all your needs
Singles, did you know that many married people are lonely and unhappy in their marriages? For many, God sustains them and gives them the strength to remain faithful to their spouses.
No person on this earth can meet all your needs, and you cannot meet anybody’s needs in entirety, no matter how hard you try.
God is the only person who can meet your needs because he created you and knows you better than anyone else.
Psalm 139:16 “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” (NLT)
Use the time when you are single to grow in your faith and to let God make you into the person he desires you to be. That way, when that special person comes along, you will be ready to be God’s instrument in your marriage.
4. You and your spouse will gel immediately
Picture two porcupines who decide to get married. Every time they want to get close and cuddly, they poke each other. Why? Simple – because each porcupine is covered in sharp quills! These quills cannot come off because they are part of the porcupine.
In the same way, each person in a relationship has a background – upbringing, education, values, and experiences. You cannot expect to have everything in common. The process of becoming one takes time and involves lots of work. Many people find this process so difficult that they give up on their marriages in the early stages.
Use your time as a single to learn about yourself, and how you relate to people. You can also talk to married friends and get to know how they overcame the challenge of becoming one.
Being single is neither a crime nor a death sentence. Celebrate your singlehood and live your life fully, pleasing God in everything you do. Be content in your situation, and enjoy the wealth that comes with it.
1 Timothy 6:6 “But godliness actually is a source of great gain when accompanied by contentment [that contentment which comes from a sense of inner confidence based on the sufficiency of God]. (AMP)
Did you miss the last reflection? Here it is – 3-cunning-little-moles-that-ruin marriages