WHY ISN’T MY MARRIAGE WORKING THE WAY I WANT IT TO?
Marriage is one thing that baffles many people. The complexities of how two completely different individuals come together to form a family unit is a mystery even for those already married. Sadly, many marriages are collapsing, and several people want out.
If your marriage is going through a bumpy patch, it may be a good idea to look at the foundations you both laid at the beginning.
What constitutes a good foundation for marriage? Look at the ideas below.
1. Put God at the center, and keep him there.
Marriage is God’s idea. He noted that Adam needed a helper, and went ahead to make one for him.
Geneses 2:22 “Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.” (NLT)
When Adam saw the woman, he was overjoyed! God loved him enough to make the perfect companion for him. Adam had no idea that he needed the woman until he saw her. Marriage was entirely God’s idea then and remains so to this day.
Keep God at the center of your marriage. Remember that he is the one who brought you together and the only one who can keep you together. Pray together as you seek God’s guidance for every decision. When you’re mad at each other, ask God for help as you reconcile. Most importantly, ask God to help you love your spouse even when he or she is at their worst.
Do you feel like this is a tall order? God will give you the grace and strength you need to make your marriage work, as long as you keep him at the center.
2. Shared Values
At some point, the lovey-dovey feeling wears off. There will be seasons when you ask yourself if there is more to marriage then than love. During courtship, it is important to identify shared values that will sustain your relationship during hard times. Some of these values include faith in God, integrity, and honesty.
Amos 3:3 “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” (NLT)
If both of you do not agree on something as important as values, it is unlikely your union will survive. Shared values are what hold relationships together.
3. Common Goals
Marriage is a journey, an exciting journey where two people are walking together in the same direction. It’s important for both spouses to agree on what they want to achieve as a couple. Examples would be starting a family, making investments, and helping the extended family. Focusing on the achievement of these shared goals will keep you together for a long time.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.”(NLT)
Key words here– they can help each other succeed. Your spouse should be your biggest cheerleader. Stories are told of husbands who have educated their wives, and wives who have motivated their husbands to excel in the workplace. Identify your common goals, and work hard to achieve them.
The success of every marriage depends entirely on God. Are you prepared to invest in your marriage to make it succeed, and to let God make you into the wife or husband that he desires you to be? Can you honestly say God is in charge of your marriage?
Have a blissful week, as you focus on improving your marriage. All the best!
Did you miss last week’s reflection? Here you go –Are we condemned to bad leadership?
Interested in a different topic? Look at this one – Setting a good example