Do I Need God in My Relationships?
Relationships are all about love, trust, and commitment, right? Is there, therefore, any need for God in our relationships? Why involve him when everything seems to be going so well?
Selfishness is a disease that has infected humanity, with each person looking to fulfill his or her own demands at the expense of another person. Hang on – did I hear you say that you’re not selfish? Well, have you ever insisted on having your own way even when you know that it is at somebody else’s expense? That, my friend, is selfishness! Let’s look at what the Bible says about selfishness.
James 3:16 “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.”(NLT)
Selfishness is not a good trait to possess, as it damages all the relationships we have. For example, if you are married and always manipulate and act selfishly towards your spouse, he or she will become resentful and unhappy. Children who are on the receiving end of their parents’ selfishness do not have a happy childhood. There is hope, though. God encourages us to put aside the selfish nature in the verses below:
Philippians 2:3-4 “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (NLT)
As Christians, our aim should be to remove selfishness from our hearts and replace it with selflessness, with God’s help.
Independence is a trait that is encouraged in everyone who is growing up. Children are taught how to feed and dress themselves as early as possible. Teenagers are encouraged to work hard in school so that they can go to the university where they will learn to be independent. Young adults are encouraged to move out as soon as they are employed.
It’s a good thing to be independent, as long as you do not stop relying on God. We are his children, and as such, he is glad when we call on him for help. He created us to share a relationship with him, a relationship that requires us to trust in and lean on him even when we can handle things. Many times one may think that all is going well in their relationships until things begin to fall apart. At the point of destruction, most people find that God is their only source of help.
John 15:5b “For apart from me you can do nothing.” (NLT)
Those words – “apart from me you can do nothing” sum up the point on self-sufficiency all too well. Rather than do things on your own and then crash and burn, why not involve him right from the beginning?
Now – why ask God for his wisdom concerning relationships? After all, there are books, courses, talk shows and online guides on this subject. It is possible to fill your mind with all the information that you need about marriage or parenting even before you dive in!
The question is, however, is the wisdom from the above sources godly wisdom? All the human relationships that we know of – marriage, family, parental, etc. – are instituted by God. Doesn’t it, therefore, make sense to consult him on how to manage your relationships well? Look at the verses below:
Proverbs 24:3 “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.” (NLT)
Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” (NLT)
Yes, you may know all there is to know about relationships, but your knowledge cannot surpass that of our Father, who created these relationships in the first place.
- The Unexpected/Unpredictable
Things happen within our relationships – bad things, sad occurrences – that are usually sudden and unforeseen. Loved ones fall ill, others pass on, and others cheat, while others simply walk out of the relationship. What do you do in such an instance? Who can help you?
Remember that relationships were created and instituted by God. As such, when things happen that are beyond our control, he is there to help us. If you are walking with God, you can be sure that whatever happens to you does not catch him by surprise.
Psalm 33:4 “For the word of the LORD holds true, and we can trust everything he does.” (NLT)
On your own, it would not be possible to handle a tough situation where you find that you are robbed of a loved one. With God by your side, however, the situation is much easier to handle as he comforts, guides and encourages you.
Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.” (NLT)
What comforting words those are! He is right there to walk with us through the painful periods in our relationships!
In conclusion, I will add that relationships are based on love, and God is the true embodiment of love. He is, therefore, the BEST consultant AND point of reference for any relationship, because he gave up his precious ONLY Son so that we would have eternal life!
Psalm 23:1-3 “The LORD is my shepherd; I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.” (NLT)